I'm pretty sure I was born with a fucshia bedazzled wonder woman cape on my back. I'm like 98% positive it was there. How else could one explain this exacerbated need to be all and do all? I love being a woman but this is one trait that I could have done without. In my mind and wildest dreams, I wanted it all. In some ways, I still do but with age and experience, I have had to redefine what "all" looks like and the method in which I can attain it. Today, I settle for balance and this is how I achieve it:
- I learned to say "NO!" I cannot lead the PTA, coordinate the Girl Scout meetings, bake cookies, head up your fundraiser, cook dinner, clean the house, feed the cat, work a full time job, run two business, manage 3 kids and husband and still be OK...Not in any stretch of my overzealous imagination. Somehow we are programmed to believe that we're supposed to do everything and be good at it. Funny, right.. No, was a little tough at first. Good ole guilt came-a-knockin but it did get easier with time. I sat down with my family to let them know that I was building a business that will ultimately benefit us all and that it will require everyone to help a little more.. Well, alot more, if I'm being honest. So I divided responsibilities based on what they could handle and a calendar to help everyone stay on task. We hold one another accountable and if my daughter needs cookies for an event at school, my local grocery store is open 24-hours.
- I started saying "YES" to help. For a long time I didn't. I did not want to inconvenience anyone or be a "bother." I remember someone telling me one day, "Maybe my blessing is tied to me helping you out. Don't take away my chance to get my blessings because you think you have to do it all." That completely changed the way I looked at accepting help. It doesnt make me weak or less than. It simple makes me human and Lord knows I don't want to rob anyone of their blessing. :)
- Me Time! This is the one I struggle with the most. I struggle because when I'm focused, I'm focused and any time taken away from working on my goal leaves me feeling...that dog-gone "g" word again..guilty. How am I changing my perspective to include "me time?" On Sundays, I plan out my week. I plan everything from what content I am going to deliver here, new business partner strategy sessions to what child needs to go where. I also include something fun for myself. I know that in order for me to thrive and flourish, I have to be good, mentally, physically and spiritually or it wont work. It is mandatory that I do things that are fun and that edify me. So, now I pencil in time for myself on my calendar and its non-negotiable. Sometimes it includes my family.. Sometimes not! And that's ok too.
I could go on and on but I won't. These 3 are just a snapshot of the lessons that I wish I had learned before my 40's. There are many more and we will revisit this topic later. There are quite a few of us with big dreams and aspirations..all working from the same 24 hours per day. We cannot do everything but we can do anything...One thing at a time.